Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Blogger Award!

Well, I like pretty much everything about R.J Keith. I like his blog. He's friendly. To the best of my knowledge he doesn't sell meth to preschoolers or kick puppies. To the best of my knowledge. He was also kind enough to nominate me for the Very Inspiring Blogger award and, considering it just took me like ten tries to spell 'inspiring' right (fuck you spell checker...I'll get it eventually), well, I think he might be a little off his nut, but so be it. About the only thing I don't like about R.J. Keith is those damn periods. But he's probably smarter than me. Because I like JD Mader without the periods, but people always add them in there which is my own dang fault, but still makes me want to kick puppies and sell meth to preschoolers. So, basically, if I get arrested for selling meth or kicking puppies, you have no one to blame but R.J. Keith, society, my parents, my teachers, my little league coach, and possibly me (a tiny bit). But mostly R.J.

Seriously, though, these awards are interesting. They are pretty much chain letters, but they are nice chain letters. I'll put the sarcasm aside for a second and say that I truly am honored that R.J. would think to include my blog. And I'm stoked to see a lot of other good bloggers on there, too (which will make it much harder to come up with my list of fifteen...I don't think there is a rule against duplicates, though). Which brings us to how this works. I link back to R.J.'s blog. Done. I tell seven things about myself. Will do. And then I nominate 15 other bloggers. Will do that, too.

Without further ado, here are seven actually true facts about me.

1)  I really prefer even numbers to odd, so this 7 thing is kind of wigging me out a little.
2)  When I was in fourth grade (new in school), a boy I didn't know walked up and kicked me squarely in the nuts. I have spent the last thirty years trying to figure out why this happened. At the time, I just spent three hours on the floor in the fetal position.
3) I collect knives. To a frighteningly obsessive extent. I'm into old, vintage USA made knives, so we're not talking combat knives or anything, but still. We're talking hundreds.
4) I am extremely poor, so you might want to head over to Amazon and buy a few books. It's the classy panhandling.
5) A woman just walked by my apartment, and I had impure thoughts about her nether regions.
6) Along with being obsessed with knives, I am obsessed with birds. I have the whole David Attenborough 'Birds' series on VHS (no, I don't have a VCR). When I was a kid, I only wanted bird books for presents. There is a lot of psychological shit going on here. Let's move on.
7) I have a very odd mole (yes, Mom, I've had it checked). I call it my secret mole. Let's just say you'd have to look VERY hard to find it.

Now, my nominees for the best blogs.

1. David Antrobus
2. Yvonne Hertzberger
3. Laurie Boris
4. IndiesUnlimited
5. KD Rush
6. Edward Lorn
7. Richard Godwin
8. Chris James
9. K.S. Brooks
10. Jo-Anne Teal
11. Drive-Thru Guy
12. Rosanne Dingli
13. Ryan Grassley
14. J.L. Murray
15. Blergpop (kind of sleazy since I'm one of the writers, but...)
16. Tracy James Jones (16 is my lucky #)

And that's it. I'm going to go huff gas now like I SHOULD have been doing for the last hour instead of being all gracious and shit.

Really, though, thanks R.J. You're aces.  :)


  1. Thanks Dan. I have to get my butt in gear for real, now, as this the second one for me. Like you, I hope duplicates are OK 'cause the numbers would be staggering, otherwise.

    And, um, what's 'huff gas'?

  2. Who are you unknown? Huffing gas is cheap inspiration (not really).

  3. I still prefer my Heroin. Notice I always spell it with a capitol H. That's because she's a proper noun to me. Lovely little demon...

    Thanks for the nomination/ego inflation.

    Love yo face. Now, back to watching my spoon burn.


    1. This is an emo free zone. Unless I'm doing it. Aw hell, let's nod.

  4. Does this mean I must now update my blog. Arrghh. Not before time, either. Thanks, Dan. thanks a LOT. 8o))

  5. 15? I'm going to nominate 15? No. I shall nominate 1. But this is so sweet of you, thank you JD! I appreciate the sentiment (and the opportunity to talk about myself!) xo

  6. Love the periods, JD, they are your friends :D

  7. Hot damn, brother, that's a kind thought of you to include me! I like the info about the knives. I've always liked knives too. There's something poetic in their symmetry, and when I cut a tomato in half, and then dice the bastard... Oh boy, it feels so GOOD... I probably shouldn't say that, should I? *blushing*
    Thanks, brother :)

    1. Be proud, blade brother. I've got an old mora with a scandi grind that will fuck a tomato up. ;)