B is for Bitch.

I don't know a whole lot about Sue Grafton. I have never read any of her work. My mom likes her books, but I don't know her, her chops, or how she sees her role as a writer. Because I am not familiar with her writing, I will not comment on it. Grafton would have been wise to take a similar approach instead of disparaging indie, self-published writers when she said:

"To me, it seems disrespectful…that a ‘wannabe’ assumes it’s all so easy s/he can put out a ‘published novel’ without bothering to read, study, or do the research. Learning to construct a narrative and create character, learning to balance pace, description, exposition, and dialogue takes a long time. This is not an quick do-it-yourself home project. Self-publishing is a short cut and I don’t believe in short cuts when it comes to the arts. I compare self-publishing to a student managing to conquer Five Easy Pieces on the piano and then wondering if s/he’s ready to be booked into Carnegie Hall.”

Well now...that sounds bitter and conceited. 

I am an independently published author. I have been writing professionally since I was 14. I have done the HARD work of writing and editing and publishing stories, novels, songs, and essays. I studied Creative Writing at SFSU, where they take writing VERY seriously. And all this time, I was disrespecting Sue Grafton without knowing it! I feel like such an asshole. Me, a wannabe...the nerve! Sue Grafton has every right to be outraged by something she knows nothing about. I mean, she is an 'official' writer type author person...hero to tepid mystery lovers everywhere. SHE EVEN KNOWS THE GODDAMN ALPHABET!

Self publishing a shortcut? Why did it take me so long then, Sue? Why? I mean, I spent like seven minutes doing research, wrote for a couple hours and uploaded my novel straight to Kindle, but it still took the better part of a day. Or is that not long enough for you?

Grafton's assumptions that indie writers don't do research or learn about their craft is offensive and small-minded. And the arrogant world of literature is one of the only places this shit happens. There are amazing indie bands...you don't see bigger artists calling them wannabes. Graffiti artists have become famous, but they get shown and praised. Art, produced by the artist, is a beautiful thing. But writers are insecure and elitist. Or are we? See, these generalizations are slippery things, Sue.

I bet I've written as many words as Sue. I've also worked with at-risk and learning challenged kids, introducing them to the written word. I wrote for years before I ever submitted a short story. I have studied the craft of writing for two decades. I have read the greats (sorry, I never got around to you, Sue). I was too busy reading Walt Whitman, Stephen King, James Joyce, Mark Twain and other self-published, wannabe hacks.

Writing is hard. One might even argue (listen carefully here, Sue) that writing, editing, promoting, and selling a book all by yourself is a more impressive feat than giving a draft to a team of editors and then letting the focus groups and editors/marketing gurus take your words and, let's say, 'improve them'.

I've been a writer for a while. I actively try to help other writers because I see this all as a team effort. But there is no 'I' in team. I is for individual. I is for ignorance. I is for idiocy.

Not only is Sue Grafton out of touch (some of the best writers working today are self-published), but she has the audacity to sit in her glass house and cast aspersions on 'wannabes' like me. One would think, even if she believes that all self-published, indie writers are hacks, that she would have the class to enjoy her success and not denigrate others - a whole group of people who are trying to achieve success in a field which has been good to her. She could have just written another groundbreaking novel. She could have kept her mouth shut. She should have kept her mouth shut.

I don't know anything about you, Sue. Maybe you're a nice lady. Maybe you're a bitch. Given the above arrogance and superiority complexing, I'm leaning towards the latter. For now. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say that your writing is not quite up to the level of the masters I listed above - those self-published assholes like Twain. That's right, I'm going to make a blanket statement generalizing your work based upon one answer to a question in an interview. I would look into this more, but that would require research, and I have a book to finish - I started it yesterday...I want to have it up on Kindle by this afternoon.

Anytime you want to see what an indie writer can do, I'm easy to find. Sue, you're a wealthy lady. I'm not (wealthy or a lady), but I'll bet you $50 that, in ten minutes, I could write a better story than you. So, bring it. Ten minutes, two pens, and as much paper as you need. I'm ready when you are. Put your money where your mouth is, Sue. I'll be waiting, looking for shortcuts that lead to the cathedral of hypocrisy where I can badmouth an entire movement because, well, E is for ego.

PS - I know you apologized (of your own free will and with no encouragement from your publisher, I'm sure), so I'm sorry I called you a bitch. There. Friends again.

Why 50 Cent knows more about promotion than you do.

I know a lot of people who spend a lot of time thinking about how to promote their work.  Most are writers.  And we suck at it (except for the ones who are brilliant at it but can't write for shit - yeah, I said it).  I recently got into an online discussion with some writers about hip hop.  Talk about a waste of time.  Let's waste some more.  


Let me pontificate a bit. I don't think that there is any question that Eminem is the biggest thing to happen to MAINSTREAM hip hop in quite some time. And I understand that the roots of hip hop go back farther than most people think (Afrika Bambaataa is often cited, but you can find the stirrings farther back).  I got into "good" hip hop in the late nineties - just so you know.  Anyway, it is interesting. When I was a kid, Vanilla Ice was the biggest joke in the world, and the idea that there would ever be a successful white rapper was ridiculous. Time passes.  Along comes Mr. Mathers. 


You could argue that he's fallen off his game a little, but he is truly a genius - there's no doubting that. When I was a teacher and working with high school kids (black and latino for the most part), they universally agreed that Eminem was the best rapper of all time. And I tend to agree, if we restrict ourselves to the mainstream. But, like with any kind of music, you have to look to independent, underground artists to find real innovation and creativity. Not that Eminem isn't creative, but he doesn't have as much leeway as someone who is making music without any expectations placed on them.  He has a big ass corporation depending on him to make them money.


The diversification of hip hop has been interesting to watch. There are rappers of all colors from all countries. And you don't have to look as far to find truly brilliant lyricists (I was a big Tribe and Nas fan back in the day, still am). But now you've got Aesop Rock. Del. Those guys are insanely good. Detron 3030 might be my 'desert island' album.  These guys are smart as shit.  Dead Prez did the best song about 'Animal Farm' ever...Orwell would have been proud. I used to read the book with my students when I was teaching English and then we'd listen to the song: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubMQkPzc0Fs 
Check it out. It's pretty amazing.  And if you don't see the connection to what we're talking about...look again.



If you want to know what's going on in the underground now, keep your eyes on these guys (not that there aren't many others, but these guys are on it...and I happen to know NASTYFACE which makes me one of few.  He operates anonymously...and will be appearing on this blog soon.):
NASTYFACE 
swell 

Which brings up a connection I have made many times with punk rock and indie publishing. The PR revolution was all about DIY and taking back the means to production, distribution, etc. It was about community.  It was about looking at the conventions of the time and saying 'fuck it'.  Let's strip it down.  Rap/Hip Hop came on the heels of this with two turntables and a mic, and then they took it to the next level by MASTERING self promotion. You want to know how to promote your novel?  Look at the guys selling mix tapes out of the back of their cars. They are on the grind 24/7 and it works. It is all a question of how much time you are willing to devote to it. Eminem gambled everything because he knew he had what it took.  And he did.  I don't care for 50 cent, but he went from selling mix tapes to selling companies. Something to think about.