Reading is for nerds?

Being a writer is weird. Everyone thinks you have a "fake job" and you think, well, sure pays like a fake job, but would a fake job make me want to gouge my eyeballs out with a fountain pen? Do I even have a fountain pen? No, I don't. Or a fountain of any kind. But I do have a pen. Not that I'm going to use it right now - it makes the screen of my laptop all messy, and the posts never upload. That's not what I want to talk about, anyway. I want to talk about why people should spend less time talking about how they don't have time to read and how books are, like, totally lame anyway.

You have time to read. I'm not saying you should. Personally, I find the entire idea repugnant. That's why I close my eyes and cover my ears and scream as loud as I can when I see someone with a book. If it's one of those thick books, I might even throw in a few dry heaves. Get this, though. With e-books and iPads and people reading books on their phones, sometimes it's hard to tell. And everyone is always looking at a phone, so I've been casting a lot of scream spells to keep the words away lately.

Look. It's selfish, alright? You sit there with your phone or little phone-looking thing all quiet and it makes people nervous. Personally, I see you sitting with a book, I don't know what I'll scream. You could be a spy or a suicide bomber or a communist - I don't know! What do I know? Well, I know that the rest of us have the decency to use our phones to do socially responsible things like talk to people on speaker phone - SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. No secrets. Nothing to hide. THAT, I can respect. You want to sit and not share what you're doing with everyone within earshot? That's letting them win! You know who they are. Don't play dumb. BE dumb. People will respect your honesty.

Alright, I'm gonna get real for a second. I know that new technology is fun. I like watching things on the picture box sometimes. I appreciate the fact that the family can sit around the Victrola at night and listen to Sonatas. What I don't get is the 'reading is for squares' mentality. Some of the most badass people who have ever lived have been bibliophiles.

I hear variations on this theme all the time, though. People makes jokes about it. Like they're proud of it. Pshaw! Read a book? LOL! Books are soooooooo boring. People seriously say these things. Sometimes, it's the same people who will spend hours watching men corrupt a game for profit while slowly killing themselves. The same people who watch videos of cats (I love cats - I EVEN LIKE WATCHING VIDEOS OF CATS - I also like to read.)

I don't get it. When I was teaching, I encountered many students who "hated" reading because it was "boring." Most of the time, I was able to get that student stoked on a book. And it wasn't that hard because reading can be super fun. There are so many different kinds of books and magazines and blogs and graffiti ... if you can read, guaranteed there is something you would enjoy. Maybe you'd like to read about history. Or romance. Or intrigue. Or people having sex with dinosaurs. It's all out there!

This just sounds like a writer whining, I know, but it also makes me sad on a very deep level. Books have gotten me through the hardest parts of my life. And books are magic! They can take you back in history, they can transport you to the future, they can make you think, they can make you not think, they can change your perception of the world, make you laugh, make you cry, make you fall in love... If I went around town talking about a new iPhone app that could transport you to any place or any feeling you want, people would be all over that shit. Even if it cost more than a sandwich.

I know some people have their minds made up. It's cool. Honestly, I just wanted to write something before I started working on the ol' novel, and this is what came out. BUT! If you are one of those people who is like "ewww, a book, fucking get that thing away from me before it dorks me up!" then I would encourage you to ask yourself why you feel that way.

Whether you want to accept it or not, a lot of people love the hell out of reading. Some people depend on it. We fight WARS and justify them based on books. So, just, like, think about it. Or wait until this post comes out on Netflix.

Bad jokes aside, I have two daughters. I want them to be who they want to be. I'm not one of those 'you're gonna be a fucking ice skater!' Dads. Both my girls love books, though. If they didn't, it would make me sad. Not because I'm a writer, but because I want their lives to be rich and wonderful. And I don't have enough money to afford a yacht. Or travel. So, yeah, books. But seriously, everyone talks about how important it is to read to their kids and then those kids start kindergarten and lots of parents think: thank GOD we can stop this reading shit now. Because ... reality TV!

If reading is so important for kids (which I think we can agree on), how come it stops being important when you're old enough to work the remote? You think about what you've done. I've got a novel to finish. Assuming I still have both my eyes.

EVERYTHING I Write Is Fiction!

When people ask what I write, the answer is easy. I write fiction. Bam. Done. I got an email this morning from someone who is calling me out for no longer being a 'fiction only' writer because I wrote a book about teaching kids to fish. It was a friendly kind of thing. I'm not mad. I'm going to address it though. Mostly because I think it's interesting. First, a bit of background.

I taught writing workshops for at-risk teens for years. We had very few rules. I'm not big on rules. The rules were basically:

1. Be cool. Be supportive. Don't write about anyone in this workshop except me (if you dare).

2. Do not write about guns or violence or abuse unless you need someone to help - I'm a mandated reporter, and I take it very seriously.

3. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS FICTION! It doesn't matter if it's about your Grandma's birthday party that happened yesterday. FICTION!

The third rule was very important - for my students, as it is important for me every day of my life. Here's how I feel about it. Whether my writing is 'fictional' or not is my business. So, rather than beat around the bush and hand out wishy-washy answers like: "Oh, I write all kinds of stuff," everything I write is fiction. Fishing book included.

So, there's that. When I was working with kids, I wanted them to be able to write without worrying about whether anyone was trying to figure out "what was true." It was a form of protection and a grab at privacy for everyone. And it worked really well.

But let's get a little more obtuse. I don't believe there is any such thing as non-fiction. Not really. Now, I'm not an idiot. I get that there is a section in your bookstore called nonfiction. But, since I'm a writer, allow me to submit the following. I can tell a 'true story' and make it untrue. And I can make up a story that is pretty damn true. As a writer, I use tone, language, imagery, and many other cool tricks to tell my stories the way I want to tell them. But, in telling the story my way, I am presenting it in a way that is more than 'just facts'. I am manipulating you. And 'just facts' aren't nonfiction either because there is always more to the story than, 'just the facts', dig?

Check this out. My daughter just started kindergarten. Which of these is true? (Meaning NONfiction.)

My daughter sat as the teacher smiled her greetings, twitching in her seat, eyes bright. There was a soft light falling through the faded drawings in the window.

My daughter looked small in the plastic chair, listening to her new teacher, hands clasped tightly. A buzz from somewhere ... an air conditioner, fan ... the sound of hornets swarming. The clock's tick was a metronomic hypnosis.

My daughter sat, wide-eyed, as her teacher explained the intricacies of finger painting. She watched the other children, painted tattoos covering their forearms, picturing the rainbows that would go down the drain come bath time.

The lights were bright, glinting off the damp forehead of the woman who would remain after the parents left. My daughter looked at me, but it was like she was looking through me and into a future still shrouded in mystery.

My daughter listened to her kindergarten teacher speak.

All of those things are fictional. Even the last one. I don't know for sure if she was listening, and, even if she was, the mere fact that she was listening doesn't give us any idea about how she was receiving the information. In my mind, that is not nonfiction. That's a police report. The truth means the whole picture, and we never get the whole picture. Even when we think we do, our picture is different than all the other ones because we are different from every other human we interact with. Which means the other examples aren't nonfiction either because they are MY interpretation of what went down (or didn't). My PRESENTATION. And the anxiety or wonder or whatever you took from it was a conspiracy between me (writer) and you (reader) to create an idea of how things really went down. Which we can't DO because you can interpret the examples in many ways. I influence your interpretation with my mad writing skills, and you are free to misinterpret, read through the lens of your OWN experiences, or misread what I wrote completely and think I'm talking about aluminum siding. Nonfiction? Hardly.

Jon Krakauer is one of my favorite writers. He writes non-fiction. Right? I've read all his stuff. Most recently, I read his account of the life and death of Pat Tillman, Where Men Win Glory. It's a fantastic book. I don't believe it should be considered nonfiction, however. To tell the nonfictional account of Pat Tillman's life, you'd have to write something like this:

Pat Tillman was a pretty good guy. He was a pro football player who went to war. He died. 

And THAT would not be 'nonfiction' because there is a HELL of a lot more to the story. But Krakauer's book isn't nonfiction if you want to get picky. Krakauer is a fantastic writer and his books include commentaries, philosophies, and presentations that paint beautiful pictures of real events. He is writing using his beliefs, ideologies, SKILL, etc. The Tillman story has been told many times by lots of different people. There are commonalities, but the stories are not the same. They are accounts of "true" events that are filtered through the lenses of flawed humans (as we all are). And sometimes, real events are used as part of an agenda. Like how the government LIED in their 'nonfiction' account of Tillman's death. Everyone writes/speaks with some kind of agenda. Therefore, their stories cannot be 'true' in the sense that simple people like to think of them as 'true'...

Photographs and paintings are not the same. I would argue that, in the hands of a writer - especially a really good writer - there is no such thing as nonfiction. Fiction can even be MORE TRUE than nonfiction for these same reasons. If we are not bound by this elusive concept of 'truth', we are free to flavor our writing so it is closer to something true or, if not true, at least honest. We do this by adding a dash of emotion, a phrase turned carefully so it can be read several ways ... writers have lots of tricks. Kind of makes you wonder what 'true' and 'honest' even mean, let alone 'fiction' and 'nonfiction'.

So, I am still a fiction writer. And I always will be. Everything I write is fiction. Including this post.

You should read the Krakauer book. It's fantastic. Better than mine. Mine's cheaper though.

'My Writing Process' - BLOG TOUR 2014! - brought to you by Apple(s)

My excellent friend Yvonne Hertzberger (also a brilliant writer) invited me to do this 'blog tour' thing. Naturally, I assumed it was a cheap come on and informed her that I am a happily married man. Then, I thought she was talking about climbing inside the internet. Then, I thought about the movie 'Innerspace'. Then, I thought, “that was a rad movie, I should watch it!” Then, I remembered I had to answer these questions (Thanks Yvonne!!!) So, I’m answering these questions, and then I’m passing the mic to some awesome writer type folks. Then, I’m going to eat lunch. And I might watch 'Innerspace'. Oh no he didn’t! Oh, yes, yes, I did. Martin Short, baby! (I haven’t forgotten, amigo.)

Yvonne is awesome, check her out. Here’s her post: KAPOW! - and now we rock the roll. Take a shot of whiskey and slap your dog, 'cause these questions are so pointed you might end up blind. 

What am I working on?

I work on multiple projects at the same time. I didn’t do this until I started writing longer fiction. I need a break from novels … they’re long, you know? When I used to write stories exclusively, I generally worked on one until it was done. I wrote some songs during the process, but that’s much different - I'm always writing some shitty song.

Now, when I’m working on a novel, I need to write short pieces. I write a lot of flash on my blog. I still write music. So, the answer is a bit ambiguous. I’m WORKING on the third installment of the Matt Stark series (which will focus on Jo). I’m also writing stories. Some articles. I might even write a song or two. A play? I won’t write a play. I can almost guarantee it. (Unless there's money involved, in which case I will write a play about anything you want. Anything...)

How does my work differ from other of its genre?

This assumes a few things that I am uncomfortable with. I don’t think in terms of genre unless the book is REALLY formulaic. Generally, I consider good books to be good books that may be romantic, adventurous, murder-y, sad, memoir-esque … you get the idea.

But lots of other people think genre is important, and I guess my longer work is mostly “crime fiction” or some nonsense. My feeling is, if the characters are good, the genre is life. Still sounds pretentious. Ironically, I feel it is just the opposite. Let the readers apply 'genre' stickers!

Why do I write what I do?

I write about the things that interest/confuse/befuddle me. I write about the parts of life that don’t make much sense. I get pegged as a writer of “dark fiction” quite a bit, but I don’t quite see it like that. I write about things that really happen in real life. I tend to lean towards dark because the happy, shiny things aren’t nearly as interesting.

How does your writing process work?

I either come up with an idea, start writing it in my head, and then eventually get it down on paper or I just sit down and see what comes out. Usually, the latter. Novels involve more puzzling out, but most of my short stories come from just sitting down and deciding to write a short story. I am a pantser for sure. I don’t think I’d enjoy writing nearly as much if I knew where the journey was headed.

Here’s those awesome writer types I mentioned. They will be answering the above Q’s via their blogs, graffiti, scrawled notes or in any other way they choose on the 7^th. Or they won’t. And we will forgive them because we love them.

Jo-Anne Teal

Jo-Anne began writing fiction about three years ago.  She is particularly interested in telling stories of the hidden, the hurt, the silent and the unheard.  Concentrating on flash fiction as she began to develop her writing voice, she now writes short stories and is planning her first novel.

Jo-Anne lives in Vancouver, British Columbia where she happily pursues the writerly stereotype of spending too much time in coffeeshops.

Ed Drury

Ed Drury is a multi-instrumentalist, composer, teacher, instrument maker and author. He combines his experience with classical music and his love for traditional music forms by composing music inspired by his world travels.

Ed lives in Portland Oregon where he teaches, performs, writes and records. He has written and published five books. Two non-fiction books on music and a trilogy of science/eco/fantasy books called the Whale Whisperers Saga.

Teresa Kennedy

Teresa Kennedy is the Editor in Chief of Village Green Press, LLC and the author of more than 30 published books. She has won a Southwest authors award, and the French Pen Faulkner award for her novel, Baby Todd and The Rattlesnake Stradivarius.

Village Green Press LLC offers a full range of services for authors looking to self-publish and those pursuing more traditional outlets.

Big thanks to Apples for being affordable and nutritious. And for making this blog tour possible. 

‘The need for speed – pacing in novels vs short stories’

Morgen Bailey is a friend of mine. She is also a passionate connoisseur of the written word. (And she has a lovely accent.) She was kind enough to share this guest post. Check her out - make sure you spell 'Morgen' with an 'e' or you will find a passionate connoisseur of something MUCH different. :)

Morgen has the energy of ten people, and she is a great mentor for aspiring writers. I don't think she ever sleeps, but she drinks tea, not blood. Without any further blathering...

There are three components to most stories: character, setting (location) and plot. The most important is the character because if you have a character the reader cares nothing for, you can have the best plot but it falls flat because the reader isn’t interested in what happens to your protagonist. If they do, then your next job is to make your plot engaging.

Stories (of any length) are usually made up of a mixture of dialogue and description. Dialogue usually speeds up the story whereas description, especially if a chunk of it, slows it down.

The genre you’re writing can also determine how you want to write. A fast-paced thriller will automatically need shorter, sharper sentences than a slow-burning historical saga.

I cover ‘Direct vs indirect action’ on my http://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/writing-101 page where I say, “Try and make your writing as direct as you can. What do I mean by that? Have the character (Ted) throw the ball rather than say “The ball was thrown by Ted”. Also instead of saying ‘Ted saw the train speeding towards the car’, having the train speeding towards the car means you’re closer to the action. Your readers will appreciate it as your writing should already have them feeling like they're Ted.

You also don’t want to make your chapters too long. I read (and enjoyed) Graham Hurley’s debut novel, Nocturne, but at three 100-page chapters, it felt more disjointed because I wasn’t stopping at a natural break – I rarely read novels in one sitting. This is possibly one aspect of why James Patterson novels are so popular; because he has very short chapters. One of my favourite books is his / Michael Ledwidge’s ‘Step On A Crack’, a fast-paced heist thriller.

I’ve titled this article ‘pacing in novels vs short stories’ because they do differ. While you can elaborate in novels, every word really does have to count in short stories. You don’t have the space to go into depth, to have long passages of description, however beautiful it might be. Of course, your readers will want different things from your writing; I glaze over detailed descriptions whereas one of my writing group poets loves them. I love reading and writing flash fiction so they tend to be short and snappy.

Of course the lack of quantity doesn’t mean you can skimp on the quality. Your reader still wants to be entertained, learn something new, feel for your characters but they also want there to be a risk, a dilemma. Having your character sitting around drinking cups of tea may be company for them, it serves little purpose, unless there’s a wrecking ball looming over their veranda and they’re sipping Earl Grey, blissfully unaware. To ensure your narrative drive, every scene has to have a reason for being there, your writing has to grip the reader, want them to know what happens next, that the characters they’ve grown to care for are going to be OK.

Readers should remember your book for all the right reasons and finish the last page feeling happy, drained – both is the sign of good writing – if that’s how you feel after you’ve written it, then it’s definitely a job well done.

What’s the ‘fastest’ story you’ve read? Do you have any of your own tips for speeding up a read, while not losing enjoyment?

Morgen Bailey

Based in Northamptonshire, England, Morgen Bailey (“Morgen with an E”) is a prolific blogger, podcaster, editor / critiquer, Chair of NWG (which runs the annual H.E. Bates Short Story Competition), Head Judge for the NLG Flash Fiction Competition and creative writing tutor for her local council. She is also a freelance author of numerous ‘dark and light’ short stories, novels, articles, and very occasional dabbler of poetry. Like her, her blog, http://morgenbailey.wordpress.com, is consumed by all things literary. She is also active on Twitter, Facebook along with many others (listed on her blog’s Contact page).

She also recently created five online writing groups and an interview-only blog. Her debut novel is the chick lit eBook The Serial Dater’s Shopping List and she has six others (mostly crime) in the works. She also has several short story collections and writer’s block workbooks available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk.

The Fear...

Fear is a killer. When I think back on my life, I am crushed by the things I missed out on because I was afraid. I was a pretty fearless and stupid kid, so that’s saying a lot. But therewere fears. There were girls I should have kissed. There were trips I should have taken. There were things I should have tried…or been brave enough not to try. I missed so many opportunities because I was afraid.

Fear is a natural human response. Telling someone to stop being afraid is kind of like telling them to stop having the hiccups. Although if you hiccup at someone who is scared, it doesn’t cure the fear. So, yes, fear ranks higher than hiccups in the…I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

Oh, yes.  Fear. Fear is the writer’s nemesis. I wake up every day, and I punch fear in the testicles because I know it would do the same thing to me if I let it. I’m going to do some generalizing here. You’re going to deal with it because you don’t have a choice. Most of the writers I know…the good ones…are plagued with self-doubt. Maybe not all the time, but enough that it slows them down. They let fear take control.

Writers have a lot to be afraid about. Writing is a very personal thing. And you’re putting your thoughts and feelings out there for people to embrace, laugh at, degrade, and shit on. And it can HURT. Badly. You can tell me you don’t like my shirt. Fine. I didn’t make it. It might annoy me, but I deal. But if you hate my novel (and believe me, there are people who will hate what you write no matter how good it is), I have a much harder time not taking that personally.

We are writers. We pride ourselves on what we create. And if someone craps all over what you created, it is going to hurt. Believe it. You probably already know all about it.  Writers are weird. I can get ten 5 star reviews in a week, and all I think about is the one 4 star review and why the reviewer didn’t “like my novel”.

I am not very vain. You can call me ugly. You can make fun of my baldness. I really don’t care that much. I never claimed to be beautiful. But the words. By God, the words are beautiful. They come from someplace deep inside, and I love them. And when they are devalued, it hurts.

I’m not saying I’m the greatest writer of all time. None of us are. If we were, we wouldn’t be spending our time on Indies Unlimited…we’d be playing croquet with Michael Chabon. Being the best is irrelevant. Because no matter where you fall on the spectrum of greatness, you did the best you could. (Unless you didn’t, in which case you deserve the fear.)

Here’s my point. I think we can all agree Kafka was a pretty talented fellow. He was so afraid that he didn’t want anyone to read what he wrote. He was a writer. Writers are weird. You can do a lot of things to make yourself a better writer, but telling fear to go to hell is right near the top. You will be afraid to push the envelope…what will people say? You will be afraid to share a story you’re not sure about. You will be afraid to let real life into your writing. Or the real you…scars and all. You will have fear dripping out of every pore. Not all the time. But sometimes, sure.

One of the greatest things about being a writer is that you get to do it for a LONG time. Your typing arm isn’t gonna go out on you. You won’t tear your rotator cuff. It doesn’t matter what you look like or smell like. The words matter, that’s it. Give yourself the courage to let your words live. If you don’t do anything else as a writer, do that. Take a chance. When someone offers you an opportunity, take it. If you screw up, learn from it. If someone trashes something you wrote, let them. You have two choices. You can write, fear be damned and be a writer, or you can call yourself a writer and keep making people read that one story that you got a prize for ten years ago.

Fear is your enemy and it breeds in stasis. Do not rest on your laurels or wallow in your defeats. You don’t have time for that. There are more words to be written. Fear doesn’t go away, but you don’t have to listen to it. There are far more important things to listen to. Like that little voice in your head that says, “what if I tried this…would it work?” That is your ‘muse’. And it doesn’t listen to fear unless you allow it to.

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED ON WWW.INDIESUNLIMITED.COM, WHERE I AM A CONTRIBUTING AUTHOR.

Why 50 Cent knows more about promotion than you do.

I know a lot of people who spend a lot of time thinking about how to promote their work.  Most are writers.  And we suck at it (except for the ones who are brilliant at it but can't write for shit - yeah, I said it).  I recently got into an online discussion with some writers about hip hop.  Talk about a waste of time.  Let's waste some more.  


Let me pontificate a bit. I don't think that there is any question that Eminem is the biggest thing to happen to MAINSTREAM hip hop in quite some time. And I understand that the roots of hip hop go back farther than most people think (Afrika Bambaataa is often cited, but you can find the stirrings farther back).  I got into "good" hip hop in the late nineties - just so you know.  Anyway, it is interesting. When I was a kid, Vanilla Ice was the biggest joke in the world, and the idea that there would ever be a successful white rapper was ridiculous. Time passes.  Along comes Mr. Mathers. 


You could argue that he's fallen off his game a little, but he is truly a genius - there's no doubting that. When I was a teacher and working with high school kids (black and latino for the most part), they universally agreed that Eminem was the best rapper of all time. And I tend to agree, if we restrict ourselves to the mainstream. But, like with any kind of music, you have to look to independent, underground artists to find real innovation and creativity. Not that Eminem isn't creative, but he doesn't have as much leeway as someone who is making music without any expectations placed on them.  He has a big ass corporation depending on him to make them money.


The diversification of hip hop has been interesting to watch. There are rappers of all colors from all countries. And you don't have to look as far to find truly brilliant lyricists (I was a big Tribe and Nas fan back in the day, still am). But now you've got Aesop Rock. Del. Those guys are insanely good. Detron 3030 might be my 'desert island' album.  These guys are smart as shit.  Dead Prez did the best song about 'Animal Farm' ever...Orwell would have been proud. I used to read the book with my students when I was teaching English and then we'd listen to the song: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubMQkPzc0Fs 
Check it out. It's pretty amazing.  And if you don't see the connection to what we're talking about...look again.



If you want to know what's going on in the underground now, keep your eyes on these guys (not that there aren't many others, but these guys are on it...and I happen to know NASTYFACE which makes me one of few.  He operates anonymously...and will be appearing on this blog soon.):
NASTYFACE 
swell 

Which brings up a connection I have made many times with punk rock and indie publishing. The PR revolution was all about DIY and taking back the means to production, distribution, etc. It was about community.  It was about looking at the conventions of the time and saying 'fuck it'.  Let's strip it down.  Rap/Hip Hop came on the heels of this with two turntables and a mic, and then they took it to the next level by MASTERING self promotion. You want to know how to promote your novel?  Look at the guys selling mix tapes out of the back of their cars. They are on the grind 24/7 and it works. It is all a question of how much time you are willing to devote to it. Eminem gambled everything because he knew he had what it took.  And he did.  I don't care for 50 cent, but he went from selling mix tapes to selling companies. Something to think about. 

Right now I'm gonna pass the mic...

Today, I get someone else to do the hard work for me again.  I asked L.A. Tripp to write this because he digs music and I am super interested in the way music and writing inter-relate.  As a musician, I have always found it interesting that writing is one of the things I can't do while listening to music.  Well, I can.  But I don't.  But many people I know do. Anyway, enough about me.  Read on.  Meanwhile, I'm gonna sip this coffee and try to get all these supermodels to leave me the hell alone...


Music, Mind over matter, and Me...

I've been asked several times how music affects me and my stories. Well, let me explain.

Music is a natural part of me. I grew up with it. I listened to it with my parents. I listen to it while I drive. I listen to it when I go out and dance to it. It only makes sense that I'd use it while I write, as well.

Here's my process.

I sit at my desk, settle in with my computer for a cozy little work session. But, before I get too cozy, I pull up my music on my phone, pop the earplugs in that we call headphones, and select some music. What happens when the notes start traveling from the phone, through the wire, into the earplugs, and resting in my ears? Well . . . they don't rest. Each note buries themselves into every fiber of me. I feel the beat, the symbols, the guitars, the voice. It reverberates through me. That symbol could tell me a character needs to get killed off. That bass line may tell me a tragedy is on it's way. The soulful voice may steer me toward a love connection forming. As these notes filter through my body, my fingers travel across the keys and write what is plotting in my head.

The end result is the story that you laugh, cry, and cringe at.

Hope you enjoy my works, and keep in mind the journey going on in me while you journey through the story.

L.A Tripp is a writer and an all around nice guy.  Check out his work and support a writer that truly supports the arts and his fellow scribes.   CLICK HERE

OCD and Writing...OCD and Writing.

When I was twelve or thirteen, things started getting weird.  I had to do everything an even number of times.  I started worrying about germs a lot.  I worried about what other people were thinking about me.  I worried, period.  I began to over-analyze EVERYTHING.  Including my tendency toward over-analysis.  I did not know what was going on.  I was ashamed.  It wasn’t until years later, reading Howard Stern’s book ‘Private Parts’, that I realized I was not the only one who did these things and felt this way.  That there was even a name for it.  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  Since then, things have gotten better.  I don’t worry about even numbers much.  Germs are still an issue.  I have come to terms with the fact that I think very differently than most people.  Self-medication worked pretty well, but it almost killed me.  I even tried medication from the doctor.  That did kill me.  It took away the OCD, but it also changed my personality.  I didn’t realize this at the time.  In hindsight, while I might have been ‘happier’, I like being me…germphobia and all.

My friend Rosanne Dingli recently wrote an excellent piece about writers and depression - http://rosannedingli.blogspot.com/2011/09/authors-and-depression.html.  She suggested I write about writers and OCD.  Instead, I will write about one writer (me) and OCD.  Otherwise, I might have to do research or other distasteful things like interview real, germy people and shake their hands and…you get the idea.

I recently had an interesting conversation with a colleague of mine.  We are both teachers.  I remarked to her that all the good teachers I have ever known have been weird.  Weird in different ways, but weird nonetheless.  Eccentric.  Neurotic.  We both share the affliction of having overactive minds.  I think about a million things all the time, and it is tiring.  She suggested that good teachers are weird because, when you are teaching (well), you are engaged in the moment completely.  There is no room for the myriad thoughts that swarm like mosquitos most of the time.  I think she is on to something.  It would explain why I like fishing (‘zen’ concentration) and motorcycles (‘don’t want to die’ concentration).  But I digress, let’s talk about writing.

Writing fits this pattern.  When I am writing, I am not thinking about anything else.  Not even thinking about writing, really.  I enter a weird, detached state.  It is quite soothing.  There is also the issue of control.  Part of OCD, for me, is fear of the things I can’t control, i.e. germs.  And the compulsions that help me feel like I do have a bit of control.  Washing my hands a million times a day.  The counting I used to do.  Etc.   Writing is a great way of being in control.  When I am writing fiction, I am God.  I control my characters.  I control the plot.  It is my world.  (This is not completely true, but I convince myself it is).  Regardless, writing gives me two things that my OCD craves … control and escape.  Without being hung over or strung out … and without fundamentally changing my personality.

          
OCD is an interesting affliction.  My wife always says that she could never have OCD because she can’t remember things long enough to obsess about them.  I remember everything.  Or at least the non-important things … like to check the stove twice before I leave the house (the number thing isn’t totally gone, I guess).  But that is the real bitch of the disorder.  People who have OCD realize it makes no logical sense.  I know that most people don’t think about germs all the time and they live happy and productive lives.  There are people who are afraid to write anything down because they might write something ‘bad’ in the middle of what they are writing.  When I had to turn the lights on and off sixteen times before bed, I knew it was ridiculous, but by performing the compulsion, it eased the pain of the obsession.  It is a weird position to be in.  You know what you are doing is ridiculous, but the ridiculous action (whatever it is) scratches the itch that will otherwise keep you up all night.

          
OCD is related to Tourettes and this makes perfect sense to me.  Screaming profanities in public is frowned upon.  Being so worried about doing it that you end up doing it makes sense.  My wife laughs when people hurt themselves.  My friend Kyle laughs at funerals.  They are both extraordinarily nice people, but they KNOW they shouldn’t laugh.  They want to not laugh so badly that they end up doing it.  I get it. 

          
I think a lot of people have minor OCD tendencies and don’t realize it.  When my wife and I started dating I would come over to her apartment, take my shoes off by the door, and go upstairs.  When it was time to leave, they would be neatly lined up next to each other.  No big deal.  I am not one to judge.  So, the next time I lined my shoes up neatly.  It took a couple times for me to realize that when I left them reversed (right shoe on the left side), they would be ‘corrected’ when I left.  I asked about it.  Turns out my wife can’t see shoes like that and not imagine mangled limbs.  I get it.

          
One of the nice things about having OCD is that I don’t judge other people for their ‘quirks’.  Everybody has something.  I know a lot of writers and a lot of them carry hand sanitizer everywhere they go.  It makes perfect sense.  In a world that is scary (OCD is the fight or flight response gone haywire) what better way to deal with your OCD issues than by retreating to a world where you can control everything and your mind is 100% occupied by the task at hand?  This post ended up a little longer than I had planned.  It is time to go back to the real, dirty world now.  But writing will always be waiting for me.  And that knowledge gives me more strength than booze or Paxil ever did.

You can find my books HERE. And my fiction blog HERE.